Happiness in Imperfection
They say nothing in life is certain. There are things we are unsure of. There are many doubts that cross our minds every time we decide to do something. In fact, the future we are aiming at remains to be a puzzle whose pieces we relentlessly try to find the fit. But one thing is certain; each of us has a dream we helplessly crave for. Some are just confused and hesitant in what they want to do in life; others, on the other hand, are ready to face the challenges life will throw at them. Many of us envy the latter. We envy their confidence, independence and indefatigable desire to reach their goal. In the end, we are always looking for that guidance that will help us see our worth in the world.
As a child, I saw the world as something for granted. I never tried to work hard for anything as I had the mentality that everything will be given to me. I tried to stay relaxed for most of my childhood, not enduring the tedious work one should experience. I was an imbecile who had no goals. But when I finally understood what it is to live, I came to my senses. I sought for the guidance my parents were always giving me. Nothing in this world is forever. One must strive to gain what he dreams of; nothing comes out of nothing. One must set a goal.
As I grew older, wiser, I came to accept the world as it is. The world is not simply a place of happiness. It is a place where one struggles to survive for him and those surrounding him. I started to see for myself what are important in my life: my goals, my family, and those who I came to love. It is pretty cliché to say that, but I have to be honest. My family and love ones are those who tirelessly kept me alive. They were my living guardians in this world. In fact, my goals are probably a dedication to them.
My parents were the role models I looked up to ever since I was young. They were honest folks who always work hard: an engineer for a father, and an accountant for a mother. My dad, who always works in distant places, always tries to keep in touch. He’s an honest man who works for his just wage and doesn’t try to cheat on his subordinates. My mother on the other hand kept me alive for most of my lifetime. I’m very much in debt to her since she gave up her job, her dream, just to take care of me. The tireless nights my parents have spent just to raise me up to who I am today is something I cannot repay with money. Instead, everything I do for my future, for my future family, is for them.
Now what is my goal in life? Maybe someone would say “you want to be a billionaire” or “you want to be a CEO of a big company” and things like that. Yes, most of those are “dreams” but not a clear goal for me. My goal is to be an Engineer. Why engineer? My friends and family would often suggest business, marketing, accounting, medicine or even law. Sadly, I always have to turn them down. Engineering is something I was already interested at as a child. I built things, broke things apart, and put them back together. I bought many miniature cars and robots and tried to figure out how they work. Yes, it’s something strange for a child to do, but all in all, those were the things that interested me. The sight of a mathematical equation that cannot be solved by friends gives me a sudden urge to help them. The desire to solve something undone excites me in a way. Engineering is not simply solving some unsolvable problem; it is an art of creation, no matter how imperfect the situation is. I think this “mathematical gift” I have is something I should be proud of. Many people are always struggling in this field, and I feel that it is my responsibility to share what I have. The reason I want to be an engineer is for others to benefit from my work. Because of this, I feel that being an engineer is my vocation -- my role in life, my worth in life, my goal in life.
Life is hard. There’s no easy way around it. We will always hardships and go through failures. However, these failures shouldn’t make us waive on our dreams. That’s not being professional. We need to work hard on our own respective fields. We can’t just dream and dream, we should start moving up. As my parents would say, “If you get stuck, pray to God for help. Then stand up and push.” If ever I have any other doubts, I would always go back to what my faith. For all the imperfections in life, I just need to keep smiling, I’ll reach my goals.
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